rayonsports.com

To balance our list of the 5 greatest Super Bowl halftime shows, we present what we consider the 5 worst of them. Of course this is subjective, some people might consider our worst as their favorites. In our mind, however, these were, in Charles Barkley’s words…just  turrible.

1. The Weeknd (Super Bowl LV) – I have no idea who The Weeknd is nor do I listen to his music, but this show was downright weird. It began with a choir dressed in white with masks and glowing red eyes, and also had the star singing and dancing through a confusing labyrinth with dancers in red blazers wearing bandages on their faces and heads. I guess this was a nod to one of his albums, but I didn’t get it and neither did a lot of critics, as it was widely panned.

2. Up With People (Super Bowl X) – Up With People was a cringy singing and dancing ensemble from the 1960s that put on a show with happy, smiling people trying to convey an upbeat mood in a decade that saw political assassinations, the Civil Rights movement and Anti-Vietnam War protests. They actually were brought in by the NFL in numerous Super Bowls, but this was one where they were the headline and only act. It was January of 1976 and their show was a tribute to the country’s Bicentennial.

3. Katy Perry (Super Bowl XLIX) – ah, yes, the magical appearance of Katy and the character who stole the show, Left Shark. Ms. Perry performed her act flanked by a pair of dancing sharks, and Left Shark’s weird dance moves created a stir and launched memes on the internet. Missy Elliott and Lenny Kravitz also made appearances.

4. Jessica Simpson/Various (Super Bowl XXXVIII) – It was dubbed The Super Bowl Of Sleaze. I guess Jessica was the headliner of this show, but the top moment, of course, was Janet Jackson’s wardrobe malfunction, exposing a breast while she danced with Justin Timberlake. Nelly and P. Diddy also appeared, as did Kid Rock. His appearance would put this one on my worst list alone without any of the other controversy. A little known story of this game, which wasn’t on the broadcast or reported widely, was that just before the second half began, a guy ran onto the field disguised as a referee, stripped down and performed a lewd dance wearing just a thong before being tackled and arrested.

5. Anita Bryant (Super Bowl V) – apologies to the Southeast Missouri State marching band who also appeared in this one. The headliner was the homophobic Bryant, whose anti-gay stance was widely known. She hadn’t taken on that crusade at this point, but the former beauty queen’s performance was lackluster. Also putting this year’s show on the worst list – another of frequent early year appearances by Up With People.

The Super Bowl halftime shows over the 57 years of the game have changed drastically. From the old style marching bands of the first game to today’s Jay Z produced extravaganzas, some have been classics and some complete duds. Here are my 5 favorites, to be followed tomorrow by the 5 that I consider the worst.

1. U2 (Super Bowl XXXVI) – performing at the half of the first Super Bowl played after 9/11, the Irish rockers paid tribute to the victims of that attack. They opened the show with Beautiful Day, which was a hit single at the time but also seemed like a re-awakening to happier times. They played 2 other songs while the names of the 9/11 victims were projected around the stadium. This deserves the top spot on my list for the poignancy of the band’s tribute.

2. Rolling Stones (Super Bowl XL) – they were actually panned by critics, but I’ve always been a Stones’ fan so the old, stodgy critics can go back to watching Lawrence Welk reruns. Performing on a stage in the shape of their iconic tongue logo, they played the standard 3 songs and of course, 2 of them were censored by the NFL for lyrics the league deemed offensive.

3. Prince (Super Bowl XLI) – the eclectic guitar genius put on an amazing show, on a stage in the form of his “love” logo. He was accompanied by the Florida A & M marching band on a couple of songs, giving the performance a touch of a football atmosphere. The coup de gras was the final song, as he played his iconic hit Purple Rain in the pouring rain of Miami’s Dolphins Stadium.

4. Hip Hop Halftime (Super Bowl LVI) – I am the world’s least qualified expert on rap music, but this was an all-star extravaganza featuring old school hip hop artists Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, Eminem, Mary J. Blige and Kendrick Lamar with a guest cameo appearance from an upside-down 50 Cent. The show was critically acclaimed as a nostalgic look back for Millennials and even won a Grammy.

5. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers (Super Bowl XLII) – the late rock star and his band were chosen for the halftime show after the NFL was turned by their first choice, The Eagles. They delivered a memorable, rocking show featuring 4 of their hits as they kicked off their 2008 world tour in style. The performance earned them a Grammy nomination, but they didn’t win.

It’s officially Super Bowl week! Rayonsports hasn’t posted during the week leading up to the big game in years, since 2019 in fact, but we’re revisiting that tradition this year. “List” posts are always my favorite, and there’ll be a few of those, starting with today, as I compile my list of the five greatest Super Bowl quarterbacks of all time. It’s subject to debate, of course, but I believe I’m right. Some honorable mentions go to Joe Namath, who pulled off one of the biggest upsets in the game’s history, Eli Manning, who won 2 titles and took down Tom Brady’s previously unbeaten Patriots in one of them, Jim Plunkett, once considered a bust but who revived his career with the Raiders and won a pair also, Roger Staubach, who appeared in 4 Super Bowl games and won 2, and Steve Young, who came out from under Joe Montana’s shadow with a record-breaking performance in his one title win. Here are my five:

1. Tom Brady – I really don’t like this guy, who recently announced he’s retiring (again), but there’s no denying he’s the greatest of all time, and even more so as the best Super Bowl QB of all time. Ten appearances in the title game, and 7 wins leave no doubt that his record of excellence will never be matched.

2. Joe Montana – Joe Cool deserves the next spot on the list as he won 4 Super Bowls in 4 tries with a spotless record. He was the game’s MVP 3 times and completed 68% of his passes for 11 touchdowns and zero interceptions, for a 127.8 average passer rating while doing it. He was also the catalyst in all his wins, while Brady needed field goals, an epic meltdown by Atlanta’s defense and Seattle’s boneheaded play calling at the goal line to win some of his, so there’s a valid argument that Montana could be in the top position.

3. Bart Starr – the leader of Vince Lombardi’s 1960s Green Bay Packer dynasty is always overlooked, but he rates highly on my list. He guided the Packers to wins in the first 2 Super Bowls and was MVP both times. He also carried the weight of the entire NFL on his shoulders in those years, especially the first one, as the older league needed to actually show they were dominant as they claimed. Starr delivered a pair of one-sided victories with surgeon-like efficiency.

4. Terry Bradshaw – he started his career questionably and was even benched a couple of times, and a lot of people say his Pittsburgh Steelers won their 4 Super Bowls because of their Steel Curtain defense, but the fact is they won at least the last 2 due to Bradshaw’s passing ability. He won the game’s MVP award in those 2, and threw for 9 TDs with an average 112.8 rating. He was intercepted 4 times, but 3 of those came in his final title game and he was still voted MVP.

5. John Elway – He deserves to be on the list for persistence alone. One of the greatest signal callers of the 1980s and ’90s, he picked up the reputation for not being able to win the “big one”. After 3 crushing, embarrassing defeats, he won his last 2 Super Bowls and retired after the second one, going out on top as few top athletes ever do.